clown pope 101

(k a l l i s t i)

704 notes &

xerox-candybar:

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I did this! I DID THIS!!!

In middle school and high school, I prepared conversation topics to facilitate social interactions at parties (and I sometimes even wrote them down) and then in my twenties I explained this to a therapist and she said I was weird!!!

I’m less than 50 pages in, but I am so grateful for this unique and likable narrator. I wish I could have shown this to myself ten, twenty years ago. I’m literally tearing up right now.

(via drchucktingle)

99,733 notes &

arcan6yo:

robotsandfrippary:

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fresh, clean no-terf version for reblogs!

Your mom and aunts aren’t on tumblr.  Please warn them about this as well. 

[Image description: Two smartphone screenshots of a Facebook post by a person named Sheila Toll posted 2 Sep. It is black text on a white background and the post is public. The post reads:

I am a Family Doctor and I want to keep a promise made to a patient. 

Julie was a healthy, post-menopausal woman in my care who came in for a periodic health examination. One of my routine questions, in what is called the “Review of Systems”, was to ask if she had experienced any vaginal bleeding. 

She said “No” but then laughed and added, “Other than when my period came back for a few months last year”. 

All health care professional are taught early on that ‘vaginal bleeding in a post-menopausal woman is Cancer of the Uterus until proven otherwise’. This comment by Julie was, therefore, a red flag (no pun intended) prompting further questions, an examination and an ultrasound of her pelvis. 

Julie was surprised to see me so concerned, especially since the symptoms had not recurred over many months. 

Sure enough, a pelvic ultrasound and tissue sampling confirmed Cancer of the Uterus. 

Julie underwent a hysterectomy and radiation therapy. She is now healthy, cancer-free and is expected to stay that way. 

After all this was done, Julie sat ME down for a talk. She told me she’d had no idea a ‘short return’ of her period after menopause was a danger signal. Furthermore, she addressed the topic with friends over coffee and discovered that, out of 20 women, NONE of them knew this symptom was abnormal! She admonished me to “Tell women this! Don’t assume we know it!”

From that day on, I have kept Julie’s advice in mind when talking with post-menopausal patients. But recently my wife suggested that I should take this to a wider audience. 

So, Julie, this is for you: 

If you are a post-menopausal woman and your period ‘comes back’ or you have even one episode of vaginal bleeding, TELL A HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL and insist on having it investigated! 

Wishing you all good health and long lives. End image description.]

(via seananmcguire)

28,397 notes &

sp-eedysp-special:

alexseanchai:

shanastoryteller:

is there anyone out there with a nyt cooking subscription

will they send me the chamomile tea cake with strawberry icing recipe

This buttery, chamomile tea-scented loaf is a sweet pop symphony, the Abba of cakes. A pot of flowery, just-brewed chamomile isn’t required for drinking with slices of this tender loaf but is strongly recommended. In life and in food, you always need balance: A sip or two of the grassy, herbal tea between bites of this cake counters the sweetness, as do freeze-dried strawberries, which lend tartness and a naturally pink hue to the lemony glaze. This everyday loaf will keep on the counter for 3 to 4 days; be sure the cut side is always well wrapped.

Ingredients
Yield: One 9-inch loaf

½ cup/115 grams unsalted butter
2 tablespoons/6 grams chamomile tea (from 4 to 6 tea bags), crushed fine if coarse
1 cup/240 milliliters whole milk
Nonstick cooking spray
1 cup/200 grams granulated sugar
½ teaspoon coarse kosher salt
2 large eggs
1 large lemon
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1½ cups/192 grams all-purpose flour
1 cup/124 grams confectioners’ sugar
½ cup/8 grams freeze-dried strawberries

Preparation

Step 1

In a small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add 1 tablespoon chamomile to a large mixing bowl. Pour the hot melted butter over the chamomile and stir. Set aside to steep and cool completely, about 1 hour.
Step 2

Use the same saucepan (without washing it out) to bring the milk to a simmer over medium-high heat, keeping watch so it doesn’t boil over. Remove from the heat, and stir the remaining 1 tablespoon chamomile into the hot milk. Set aside to steep and cool completely, about 1 hour.
Step 3

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9-by-5-inch loaf pan with the nonstick cooking spray and line with parchment paper so the long sides of the pan have a couple of inches of overhang to make lifting the finished cake out easier.
Step 4

Add the sugar and salt to the bowl with the butter, and whisk until smooth and thick, about 1 minute. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, vigorously whisking to combine after each addition. Zest the lemon into the bowl; add the baking powder and vanilla, and whisk until incorporated. Add the flour and stream in the milk mixture while whisking continuously until no streaks of flour remain.
Step 5

Transfer the batter to the prepared pan and bake until a skewer or cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean (a few crumbs are OK, but you should see no wet batter), 40 to 45 minutes. Cool in the pan on a rack for 30 minutes.
Step 6

While the cake cools, make the icing: Into a medium bowl, squeeze 2 tablespoons juice from the zested lemon, then add the confectioners’ sugar. Place the dehydrated strawberries in a fine-mesh sieve set over the bowl and, using your fingers, crush the brittle berries and press the red-pink powder through the sieve and into the sugar. (The more you do this, the redder your icing will be.) Whisk until smooth.
Step 7

If needed, run a knife along the edges of the cake to release it from the pan. Holding the 2 sides of overhanging parchment, lift the cake out and place it on a plate, cake stand or cutting board. Discard the parchment. Pour the icing over the cake, using a spoon to push the icing to the edges of the cake to encourage the icing to drip down the sides dramatically. Cool the cake completely and let the icing set.

We out here torrenting recipes now? Reblog

(via seananmcguire)

158,599 notes &

iamnotalungfish:

punkpuppydragon:

jasjuliet:

respainey:

jollysunflora:

daxxglax:

asgardreid:

sinbadism:

bogleech:

You know, with all the language throughout Star Wars about “giving in” to the Dark Side, how the Dark Side makes you more powerful, how the Dark Side makes you age strangely and destroys you, it sure doesn’t sound like an “opposite side of the coin” so much as the “deeper end of the pool,” like it’s actually the true form of the force and being a Jedi is about keeping it tamed so it doesn’t eat you the way it actually wants.

the force is entropy

Eldritch Jedi pls

This is one of the reasons i love the second Knights of the Old Republic game, wherein one of the major characters (who defines herself neither as Jedi nor Sith) actually views the Force this way, saying  “I hate the Force. I hate that it seems to have a will, that it would control us to achieve some measure of balance, when countless lives are lost.”

It’s also the game that gave us the two most entropic, eldritch characters in the franchise: Darth Nihilus, whose dark-side-borne ability to feed on the Force and consume life itself has twisted him into a half-living “wound in the Force”, more presence than flesh

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and Darth Sion, whose entire body is a ruin, his flesh nothing but ragged scar tissue, every bone and muscle broken and torn, kept animated by will alone as he forces himself, second by agonizing second, to exist

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I wish there were more horrifying perspectives on the force like that

#the force is a horrorterror

This is one of the reasons the term “Light Side” never felt right to me, even before it was used in any official media; The Force always struck me more like an ocean than a binary concept: the deeper you go, the darker and more crushing it gets — at a certain point becoming an effectually consistent darkness — and while light filters down and fades for some distance, if there is a truly light “side” it’d be the surface.

Which isn’t to say “the Force is evil unless you flounder about near the top” — just that it’s a natural force, and as such is something you need to respect and be adequately prepared for. (Take electricity, for example: super awesome and pretty dang useful, but OH HOLY SMOKES don’t try and harness it unless you REALLY know what you’re doing!)

In this sense, being tempted by the Dark Side is less a case of “Hey, I wonder what’s on the other side of this coin it looks pretty cool haha oh whoops I’m Space Walter White now,” and more one of “The deeper into this thing you go, the harder you’ll need to fight to resist the ever-increasing pressure, to remain whole, even to just see whatever the heck you’re actually doing.”

(which is why Jedi training is so important: those padawans gotta build themselves a mental Deepsea Challenger!)

THIS META BLESSED ME

Does anyone really use the Force?  Or does the Force just use you?

The authors of the extended universe have always done a better job at developing this concept than Lucas has.

(via seananmcguire)

586 notes &

lemoadelillith asked:

For thr canonicity thing, kirby is like 20 times the size of his canon height, which is obviously for gameplay reasons but I'd say he has a stronger argument than samus or fox

jocastas-padawan:

janmisali:

notajerusalemcricket:

notajerusalemcricket:

janmisali:

kirby is his normal size everyone else is just small

Remember the smash 64 opening? they were all like a foot tall at most

imagine what smash 4 was like then. Thats like 60 less smash

common misconception! the title is actually not “Super Smash Bros. 4”, it’s “Super Smash Bros. for” with the preposition “for”. people abbreviate this to SSB4 for what I assume are aesthetic reasons

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11,465 notes &

lithominium:

so, reddit, due to its amazing updates as of late, needs positive pr. so. they brought back r/place. Which used to be a super cool, every couple years event. If you don’t know what place is, id just look up a youtube video on it cause it was cool.

anyways the people of reddit have spoken

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fuck spez indeed i agree

(via nyancrimew)

39,401 notes &

teaboot:

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say “yes”, the second will say “no.”

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? “Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?” For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: “I don’t have a card for that.”

“What the fuck,” they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: “I have laryngitis. I’ve lost speech. My throat hurts”. Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. “How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?”

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

“I have powerful wizard magics.”

Gets them every time

(via hbmmaster)

200,209 notes &

vaspider:

milky-milky-way:

is-the-cat-video-cute:

summer-skye-64:

takineko:

chibikittens:

ampervadasz:

Unmute !

That’s the most “meow” meow I’ve ever heard

SHE’S SO MAD THAT WATER IS WET

@is-the-cat-video-cute this is probably fine, I’m just curious

Rating: Cute

this kitten is vocalizing its annoyance, and it is indeed vocalizing it AT the water, as if the water is going to take a hint and stop being wet and gross on its paw.

you WET miette? you wet her paw like the fish???? oh! oh! jail for water! jail for water for One Thousand Years!!!!

yelly baby

(via seananmcguire)

325 notes &

janmisali:

janmisali:

janmisali:

best video game which was the first* appearance of a character playable in Super Smash Bros. (Nintendo 64)

Donkey Kong (arcade, 1981)

Mario Bros. (Game & Watch, 1983)

The Legend of Zelda (NES, 1986)

Metroid (NES, 1986)

Super Mario World (SNES, 1990)

F-Zero (SNES, 1990)

Kirby’s Dream Land (Game Boy, 1992)

Star Fox / Starwing (SNES, 1993)

EarthBound / Mother 2 (SNES, 1994)

Pocket Monsters Red & Green (Game Boy, 1996)

*not necessarily the first instance of the specific incarnation of that character who is in Smash. strictly speaking, Smash Bros. is the first appearance of these specific canonical instances of all of these characters

the only of these games I’ve never played are pokemon red and green, which only kinda counts because I’ve played localized first gen pokemon which is Almost the same thing

#i feel like jumpman from donkey kong is Different than Mario from Mario Bros. #EDIT: WHOOPS THAT SAYS "BEST" NOT WORSEALT

if I’m interpreting this correctly it’s saying that technically donkey kong (arcade) shouldn’t count as mario’s first appearance because of the “jumpman isn’t mario” thing that matpat popularized. but according to that theory mario bros (game & watch) would be the first game to have mario* instead of jumpman, since it was the first mario game to not be a donkey kong game. so mario’s “first appearance” is in here regardless? but then no comment on how. the donkey kong in that game is Canonically not the same character as donkey kong from dkc, who is in smash**

*btw this is extremely easy to dismiss. marketing material for mario bros from the time said Directly that it’s “mario from donkey kong”

**but of course literally none of the characters in smash are canonically the same individuals as in their source material. the argument that mario from super mario isn’t mario from donkey kong is MUCH weaker than the argument that mario from super mario isn’t mario from smash bros

Filed under tough choice but there are only like four good options really

17,901 notes &

hollowslantern:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

[video description:

a person is hunched over, perhaps examining something, on the shore of a rocky beach. the person recording walks up to them holding out a palm-sized clamshell, says “yo dude, check out my pokemon” and opens the clamshell to the camera, revealing a small crab standing inside.

end description.]

(via gothiethefairy)